Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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