Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
