well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize