This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
