I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
