To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
