she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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