she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
