imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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