I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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