so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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