I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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