I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
