the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's never too late to be topless.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Randomize
