so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize