I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
