Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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