i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
