how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
