Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
