idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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