dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
