and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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