if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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