Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
