I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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