I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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