I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
