Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
