What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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