yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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