ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Too much gin, very little bucket
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
