I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
