I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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