East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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