I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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