Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
