just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
