So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm bleeding and have questions
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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