you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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