So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
