id be glad to
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
