K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
