I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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