Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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