You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
