We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
