i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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