This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
We smell like vodka and hangover
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