What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
