I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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