Whod you bang
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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