but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
