I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
