I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
