Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
