There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
