using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
