my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
