when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
