Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
