you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
