It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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