He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
