Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
