The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Everything about him screamed your future.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
