Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
